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 You are a chilly, detached, eccentric loner, with perverse voyeuristic habits and a shard of ice in your heart. You’re aloof, arrogant, distant and offbeat. You are insulated in your own world and don’t feel the consequences of your words or actions. You observe everyone else and never react spontaneously to any experience. Whatever you’re doing, the inner you is busy making observations and taking notes. You don’t do routine or reliable. You want to be needed but won’t ever admit you need someone. You are cranky and surly when it would me more productive to be charming and cooperative. You are cold and standoffish to your family, and kind and forgiving to your drinking buddies because they make you feel superior. You signal your contrariness by dressing in eccentric clothes to ensure that we all recognize your fascinating otherness. You get out of doing all the dull stuff by acting too absentminded, intellectual and otherworldly. People believe you are irresistible and don’t mind doing things for you. You pretend you have important work to do and can’t be bothered. You are the king of one-liners and vicious sarcasm. You do not do violence or physical contact, preferring to set phasers on stun from an accurately computed distance. You always go for mind games instead of war games. You come across as an icon of cool, too glamorously ironic to be contaminated by the despicable neediness of the rest of the zodiac. Every time you get near a spontaneous outburst, you activate the defensive shields, so you can look on untouched while others tear themselves apart. It’s logical, but also sterile and emotionless. You have never had emotionally unprotected sex or been swept away by lust. This means you are always in control, which is good, but it also means you can get bored and fidgety. You are unlikely to have a long-term partner. You despise clingy dependents just as much as you loathe jealous control freaks. In social settings, you seem to always be in the center commanding attention by talking about cool stuff you want everyone to think you know all about. People think you are friendly because you hang around with so many groups, but in reality, that is because you need a large enough statistical sample to make your data collection viable. You are bored by any individual’s feelings and sometimes duck out of the party, not because you like your privacy but because you are taking a moment to write up your field notes on your observations. Weak people drain you, so you occasionally need to get away to recharge. At work, you can figure out the operating system of any job in about 10 seconds. You’re never on time, customize your uniform and hate being overseen. Bosses hate you because they know you could do their job in your sleep. Colleagues are awed by your insolent independence, but get upset when they come across the notebook listing all their quirks, catchphrases and secrets they told you in confidence because you seemed so nice and friendly. Your home is a virtual reality, complete with books, papers, posters, computer peripherals, gadgets, experiments, chalkboard and a cat (cats love you.)

From Darkside Zodiac by Stella Hyde


  • 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? No

  • 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No

  • 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Not sure

  • 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? Sure

  • 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Don't know

  • 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Yes

  • 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? Nightie

  • 8. How often do you listen to music? almost every day

  • 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans

  • 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? Nope

  • 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? a mixed of both

  • 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Yesss

  • 13. What about ‘R’? Yes

  • 14. Can you drive a stick shift? No

  • 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? Yup

  • 16. Are you going out of town soon? Probably

  • 17. When was the last time you cried? Today

  • 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Yeah

  • 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Sure, like every other day.

  • 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? No

  • 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Luck of sleep

  • 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Yeah

  • 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? Not really

  • 24. What are you sitting on right now? couch

  • 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yeah

  • 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yeah

  • 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My mom

  • 28. Do you get a lot of colds? I get enough haha

  • 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? No shirt, just nightie from Victoria's secret

  • 30. Does anyone hate you? I don't know

  • 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? I don't think so

  • 32. Do you like watching scary movies? oh yeah :


  • 33. Do you want your tongue pierced? no

  • 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? not sure

  • 35. Did you have a dream last night? no

  • 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? today

  • 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? no clue

  • 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? probably

  • 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? probably

  • 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? yes

  • 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? no

  • 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? yes

  • 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yes

  • 44. What’s the best part about school? learning

  • 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? yes

  • 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? used to long time ago...

  • 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? yeah

  • 48. Were you single over the last summer? Single since July.

  • 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Not really.

  • 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Sleeping still.

  • 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? No

  • 52. Are you nice to everyone? Not really.

  • 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah

  • 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yes

  • 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?Yes

  • 56. Do you think you like someone?Yes

  • 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?Yes

  • 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? both

  • 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?I think so

  • 60. Do you hate anyone? no

  • 61. How’s your heart? it's ok

  • 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?yes

  • 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes

  • 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? no clue

  • 65. Are your toenails painted pink? nope

  • 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? no

  • 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? don't care

  • 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? I don't recall

  • 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My mom

  • 70. How do you look right now? tired

  • 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yeah

  • 72. Can you commit to one person? yes

  • 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? most of it

  • 74. Have you ever felt replaced? yes

  • 75. Did you wake up cranky? nope

  • 76. Are you a jealous person? sometimes

  • 77. Are relationships ever worth it? sure

  • 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? yes

  • 79. Currently wanting to see anyone? yeah

  • 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? work

  • 81. Last person you cried in front of? not sure

  • 82. Is there someone you will never forget? yeah

  • 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? don't know

  • 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? making love

  • 85. Are you over your past? Yeah

  • 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? I don't think so

  • 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? not everything but most of everything

  • 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? don't know

  • 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? maybe

  • 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? yes

  • 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? no clue

  • 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? yes

  • 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? yes

  • 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? No

  • 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? yes

  • 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? yes

  • 97. Who do you have texts from? from different people

  • 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? okay

  • 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yes

  • 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? no one

  • 101. Ever kissed under fireworks? I don't think so

  • 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? not sure


“I was in the winter of my life — and the men I met along the road were my only summer. At night I fell asleep with visions of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them. Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times. I was a singer, not a very popular one, who once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet — but upon an unfortunate series of events, saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again — sparkling and broken. But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is.

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had been living — they asked me why. But there’s no use in talking to people who have a home, they have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people, for home to be wherever you lie your head.

I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean. And if I said that I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way, I’d be lying — because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one — who belonged to everyone, who had nothing — who wanted everything with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about — and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.

Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people — and finally I did — on the open road. We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore — except to make our lives a work of art.

Live fast. Die Young. Be Wild. And Have Fun.

I believe in the country America used to be. I believe in the person I want to become.

I believe in the freedom of the open road. And my motto is the same as ever —

I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself — I ride. I just ride.

Who are you? Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?

Have you created a life for yourself where you’re free to experience them?

I have.

I am fucking crazy. But I am free.”

Lana Del Rey

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